Cat Johnson Braves Doll Lil’s Word Association Challenge!

If you have the bad grace to be single on Valentines this year (like me) and the sight of all the cheesy shiny red and pink things in the stores makes you want to vomit (like me) then allow me to suggest an alternative Valentines. I promise you’ll like it.

Watch the people you love.

Celebrities I mean, don’t start peeking through windows with binoculars at exes or family members. That’s just creepy and liable to land us all in trouble. But make a date this Valentines to sit and watch a celebrity you love and spend Valentines with them. If you’re like me, you have a whole Hollywood harem in your head. It means you can indulge in a date with Chuck Bass (I make a bet with myself for every Paperback Dolls post, to see whether I can sneak Chuck in here somewhere) while staying in your pjs and stuffing your face with chocolate. This year I’ve decided to spend my Valentines with Michael Fassbender. In particular his newest movie, Jane Eyre.

Bronte’s Jane Eyre is a classic masterpiece that’s amazing on it’s own. You have a heroine who is easy to love but at the same time she frustrates you because some of her choices take her away from love or the right thing or whatever. But then if you were being philosophical you could say it’s the same as life. Everyone should know the story of Jane Eyre but if you don’t, you’re missing out. Go and read it. Right now.

Jane lands herself in a mansion a-la Downton Abbey, with a brooding hero. Mr Rochester lurks in the hallways being enigmatic and gorgeously dark and handsome. Jane develops a crush on him, like half the population would if you were faced with Rochester. The other half aren’t paying attention. But Rochester has a dirty secret, one that Jane hears screaming in the night. Hidden away in the attic is crazy old Mrs Rochester.

Kind of one in the eye for poor Jane. So not only is Mr Rochester dark and brooding and gorgeous and rich, but he’s also a tortured soul with a crazy wife hidden away. We won’t bother pointing out the clear human rights abuse here of locking crazy people in attics, even if they are your wife.

The casting agents for the movie, brainiacs tha they are, decided to take this already gorgeous character and distill him into Fassbender. The same Fassbender who made the world fall in love with the evil Magneto and did a completley over the top portrayal of an Irishman in Jonah Hex. It’s like putting caramel sauce over cake, completely too much but so, so good.

Having Fassbender as Mr Rochester is the best decision since that guy who threw toilet paper at Justin Beiber in Australia (Sir, we salute you) It means the character is by definition, hotter. Not that we should be focusing in that when we’re watching the film. We should be focusing on the story undying love against all struggles. And Fassbender cranky.

My favorite part is when Mr Rochester is blind and Jane loves him anyway. He’s just that touch vulnerable and your heart melts just a little again forget the locking away of Mrs Crazy. Fassbender does a brilliant portrayal of him and I’d encourage you all to see it for Valentines. It’s a brilliant love story and far better than most that are out there now, Friends With Benefits, I’m talking to you. See that’s the way a love story should be told. A handsome hero and a believable heroine.

I think I’ll call it Celebrity Valentines and market it. I’m having Fassbender though. So you can watch Jane Eyre and the gorgeous hero that is Mr Rochester.

Just make sure he comes back to me tonight.

Paperback Dolls is made up of women from different parts of the world, with different backgrounds, different tastes and beliefs that were brought together through a love of reading. We like to think of ourselves as a cyber version of "The View" that focuses on books, authors, and reading. We are proof positive that one common love can unite the most opposite of people and form lasting friendships that introduce other ways of life and perspectives to each other.

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