Paperback Proust with author Jay Clark + GIVEAWAY!
After an epic series of post-collegiate employment disasters, Jay Clark decided to refrigerate the casserole of failure he’d been noshing on since 2005 and write himself a cream-of-the-crap young adult novel. Thus, The Edumacation of Jay Baker was birthed, in 2008, and sold shortly thereafter to Christy Ottaviano Books, an imprint of Henry Holt and Co. These days, Jay can be found roaming around Virginia with a befuddled look on his face, wondering how he pulled off such an unlikely comeback.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?
This book eating it on the sales charts and going straight to the bargain bin. Also, snakes on a plane.
WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT STATE OF MIND?
Hungry and slightly paranoid — a way of life for me, really. #issues
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OCCUPATION?(WAY OF SPENDING TIME)
Playing tennis. It forces me to think things like, “Move your feet, stupid!” instead of, “Why hasn’t anyone liked my Facebook post?!”
WHAT HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH?
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, because his name is my name, too.
WHICH LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST ADMIRE?
My dad and my sister. They have a lot of awesomeness in common, so I feel okay with making them share the title.
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FICTIONAL HERO?
I was a huge fan of Batman: The Animated Series in my younger days. Let’s be honest, if it were on right now, I’d watch the crap out of it.
WHO ARE YOUR REAL-LIFE HEROES?
The baristas at Starbucks who pretend like me ordering another grande iced coffee sweetened with half-and-half is the highlight of their day.
WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
Pictures of my childhood. J/k, my MacBook.
WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU HAPPIEST?
On vacation, in Vegas, with my fiance, Caroline, and my family, all of us laying the smack down at the roulette table, mad chips raining down from the heavens.
WHAT IS YOUR MOST OBVIOUS CHARACTERISTIC?
I’m trying to figure out a way to answer this sarcastically, so therein lies my answer, no?
WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE (HATE) IN YOURSELF?
WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE IN OTHERS?
Cannibalism. It’s just ridiculous.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
I’m pretty cheap…Clif Builders Bars? That $!@# is expensive.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE JOURNEY?
I’m partial to “Open Arms” despite the persistent popularity of “Don’t Stop Believin’.” I answered the question wrong, didn’t I?
WHAT DO YOU MOST DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE?
Freckles. It’s hard to exude manliness when you look like you’re twelve. Maybe that’s why I’m still so immature. Epiphany!
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER THE MOST OVER-RATED VIRTUE?
Kindness toward children.
ON WHAT OCCASION DO YOU LIE?
When someone asks, “Do you think my baby is cute??”
WHICH WORDS OR PHRASES DO YOU MOST OVER-USE?
Oh, jeez. Obviously. Basically. Fart (including fart noises). Poop sandwiches. Poop-on-a-stick. Debbie Downer.
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I’d be more mellow, man. Hangin’ ten and livin’ life like a Jack Johnson song.
WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
Finding the right girl to love me forever (and ever, amen).
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE?
Well, they say that boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, but the Great Red Spot real estate market is super cheap right now, so who’s stupid now, martians?
WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU MOST ADMIRE IN A MAN?
WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU MOST ADMIRE IN A WOMAN?
Sanity. And a high tolerance for bad jokes made by me.
WHAT IS IT YOU MOST DISLIKE?
WHAT DO YOU VALUE MOST IN YOUR FRIENDS?
Accessibility–i.e., the ability to recognize that none of us are THAT busy. Although, I gotta say, I’m pretty busy…
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE?
It’s a toss-up between a) being impaled by a giant icicle, or b) accidentally driving off a cliff and then turning to the person in the passenger seat and asking, “Did I miss my exit?”
IF YOU WERE TO DIE AND COME BACK AS A PERSON OR AN ANIMAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE?
A whale. I’ve been singing whale songs for years, so the transition from land to sea would be as smooth as a seal’s–gulp, just ate that seal! Correction: I’d be a killer whale.
IF YOU COULD CHOOSE AN OBJECT TO COME BACK AS, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
An electric toothbrush. Imagine how efficient I’d be!
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO (WORDS YOU LIVE BY OR THAT MEAN A LOT TO YOU)?
Dance like no one’s watching, and fart like no one’s smelling.
WHO HAS BEEN THE GREATEST INFLUENCE ON YOU?
My fiance, Caroline. To borrow from a song by The Weepies, she turned me into somebody loved.
Be sure to follow Jay Clark on Twitter & Facebook!
A few “sexy” bullet points about Jay:
• He is in love with a cheerleader named Cameo “Appearance” Parnell
• He is forever losing “Love-15” to tennis-playing goddess Caroline Richardson
• He rocks a touché array of pop-culture references, jokes, and puns
• His family-life cookie is about to crumble.
Live vicariously through Jay as he faces off against his mortal enemy, gets awkward around his dream girl(s), loses his marbles in a Bermudian love triangle, watches his parents’ relationship implode, and, finally, learns to get real and be himself(ish).